Why Does It Always Got to Be Momma?

The title of this post is a direct quote I heard from a co-worker around 10 years ago or so. She is Cajun...can you tell? She was telling me about how she felt so overwhelmed as a new mother and a wife with a stepson. She felt as though everyone was depending on her for everything, and then blaming her for everything that went wrong. So she asks me that question. At that time, I wasn't married and had very little idea of what she was talking about. But I would learn....

I hadn't thought about that conversation in such a long time, until an incident last week triggered the memory. I was in the grocery store with my son. He was quietly riding in the shopping cart eating the free cookie they gave him at the bakery. I turned down an aisle and there was a couple coming in the opposite direction. About the time our shopping carts met, five pre-teen boys rounded the corner. They were all wearing those Heelys shoes and being quite rambunctious. They came rolling between the shopping carts as though they were navigating an obstacle course, sending a breeze drifting through my hair as they went by, and soliciting a delighted squeal from my son, Brock. I looked at the couple across from me. They were appalled. The lady said to her companion, "Now where are their mommas?" It was the exact same thought running through my mind.

But why does it have to be momma? Why can't it be daddy? Who knows, maybe those boys daddies bought them those shoes in the first place! Can't daddies teach their children manners, or correct them when they forget? Can't their daddies screw up and forget to supervise them at every moment of their lives? And my biggest question of all, because it is forever coming up at my house...why does it always have to be momma when they're sick, or hurt, or scared, etc?

This brings to mind another observation. My husband somehow managed to survive all alone for some time before we were married. So, why is it that he's forgotten where everything is now? Why can't he ever set his own alarm clock? Why can't he make his own doctor and dentist appointments and remember to keep them? Why can't he pick up his clothes, or do laundry? And why, oh why, is it always my fault if he forgets anything?

I've been thinking about all of this for the last week. What I've come up with is really no big revelation. Truth is, it's a natural thing for a momma to run her household. We carried those children around inside us and gave them absolutely everything we had...this is what they know we will do for them. It is in our nature to be the one that is the "go-to" person for virtually everything that happens within our family. We keep track of things. We remember. We take care of things. Everybody knows we're going to do this anyway. So why fight it? My husband doesn't have to remember, because I always do.

I am a nurse by profession. A caretaker. Sometimes I get tired of taking care of everybody, and just want somebody to take care of me. But here's the funny thing. When they do, it sort of makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't feel right, somehow. Just not natural.

Why does it always got to be momma? Because most mommas wouldn't have it any other way....