It was 104 degrees here today. It's been 99 or higher here for the last week and a half. No rain in sight. It was 85 degrees at 7am this morning. Get the picture? It's freakin' hot around here! It hasn't been like this in a long time. And I hope it's a really long time before it does it again.
This is why we like iced tea and lemonade in the south. I love ice. Lots of ice in everything I drink. In Europe, they rarely use ice in their drinks. What's up with that? Just holding an ice cold drink in your hand will help you cool off a bit. Even better, you burn off a couple of extra calories as your body works to bring that drink's temperature up to your body temperature. That's my kind of workout!
Come to think of it, those same Europeans think it's okay for a woman not to shave under her arms; and they don't all bathe every day, either. Ewww!
I should stop. That is just the antithesis of genteel. You'll think I'm not a lady if I keep this up. And that would simply be a tragedy. It's the running joke that in the south we justify gossiping about other people by blessing their hearts. As if it's going to wipe that slate clean and make every ugly thing you just said sweet as honey. An example...."That is such a pretty sundress she's wearing. It's too bad she has armpit hair that's long enough to braid! Bless her heart."
Alright, so let me see if I can salvage any vestige of class here. I was talking about the heat before I got off on that tangent. I think whoever invented air conditioning should be granted sainthood. Because people get really cranky when they're hot and uncomfortable. And I sleep so good when it's nice and cool. And my new office is cool...and there is no thermostat, but it's okay. Because it's just the way I like it. I stay more alert when the air is cooler, which usually leads me to be more productive.
Heat is bad for so many reasons. It zaps your energy. You get dehydrated. Your hair just lays down and dies...or frizzes up with no hope of regaining control. Makeup winds up somewhere on your neck instead of where you applied it. And then you either look like you just got out of the shower, or like you need to go take one. Bad either way. Your clothes stick to you. You are acutely aware of the sweat rolling off of you, and how pathetic you will look in no time flat, if you haven't gotten there already. We've got enough to worry about without adding this to the day!
Just give me a mint julep and an air conditioner. Before I come down with the vapors!
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