Never Let 'Em See You Sweat

I hate being new at anything. Yes, I'm a control freak. But I'm a southern lady, so it's difficult to see. Because I was taught from a very young age that it's just not ladylike to show others when something's eating at you. I remember my grandma told me that when someone asks me how I am always say, "Why, I'm fine, thank you" because ladies don't share their problems with just everybody.

So, I got a promotion at work. Sort of a big deal and a good raise. I have now moved out of the hospital setting. Don't get me wrong, I've been in an administrative position for seven years now, but never out of the hospital. Now, I'm at corporate. Well, guess what? It doesn't get more business-like than this! Numbers, reports, offices, meetings, and not a white coat in sight. My job will allow me to return to the hospital setting on a regular basis, but only for meetings.

At orientation this past week, I was sitting in a room with 14 other women. All of them in management positions of some sort (but none of them a peer of mine). It was eerie. Like looking in a mirror. I could see 14 other control freaks. Detail-oriented, assertive people that don't like to hear the word no. I mean it was one scary room! And the scariest part was that I felt comfortable with them. However, I noticed that I've got this thing about me that they don't have.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up this outgoing, sweet demeanor. A friend of mine says I could put a knife in your back and you'd thank me for doing it. She says I pull out that Southern Belle routine and it's all over. It's not a routine, though. It comes naturally. It was the way I was raised. I like to make people smile, I like to get my way, and I like to convince people to give me what I want very willingly. That is my personal challenge in life. I don't come on really strong, although I absolutely can if needed. Those other women seemed a little brash to me. They came on too strong. I totally understand their motivation and their ambition, and I identify with it. I guess I just use a different approach.

Will it work for me? I don't know. Maybe over time I'll become more like the rest of them as I learn to navigate this new world. I've had a lot of success pulling out the old charm, though. I'm interested to see how effective it will be now. Am I scared about all this new stuff? Oh yes. Am I concerned about doing a good job? Absolutely. Am I going nuts about getting over the learning curve already? Is Jack Daniels made in a dry county?

How am I doing? Why, fine, thank you!