A Married Couple's Guide to Shopping

This is not your typical discourse on shopping. Because my husband and I are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. Which is what makes it interesting blog material, right?

So, my husband likes to shop. I hate it. That's putting it mildly. It would be better to say that I loathe it. I'm not sure why. I hate trying on things, especially when they don't fit because I feel like I wasted my time and messed up my hair for nothing. I have never been really trendy, so the styles in the windows really don't get my attention. It just doesn't appeal to me. Same thing with grocery shopping. I hate that because you have to load up the cart, then you have to unload it at checkout. Then you have to haul it all home and put it away. Then...you have to cook it. And then you have to do it all over again.

I have a friend that has great taste in clothes. When I need to go shopping, I call her up. I tell her what I need and how much I want to spend. We go out, and she starts handing me things. She knows what size I wear, and she has a really great eye and knows what looks good on me. She's also good at mixing and matching, and wardrobe building. I love her. I don't even have to think about it. It doesn't take much time. She likes doing it. What more could you ask for?

They built Lowe's and The Home Depot for my husband. Trust me on this. Now, where we live, both of these stores happen to be right across the street from each other. The man could spend days in one store or the other, but having them in such close proximity creates a whole other dilemma. Because now he has to compare prices. So, he goes to one store and shops for whatever he's interested in. Then, he leaves and goes across the street to see if they might have it cheaper. If they don't, and if they won't beat the price of the other store, then he gets back in the car to go to the first place and buy the item. Add in the time it takes to browse the aisles of both stores, and you pretty much waste an entire day. Often, he will ask me to accompany him on such adventures. This is a huge mistake. I don't have the patience for such excursions. Remember my previous post about when momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy? Exactly.

He likes to chat with the salespeople. He does learn a lot from them. From time to time, he'll get extra discounts by being friendly with them. That's very shrewd. What I have learned, though, is that any project he attempts to do will take at least twice as long as he estimates it will take for reasons just such as this. So, my business-oriented mind generates that you lose any savings you gain at the store in the time that you spend. It's about efficiency and productivity.

So, you see, we are not your typical married couple. He doesn't drive me to the mall and wait in the car while I browse for hours on end. I can't trust him to go out to buy a couple of items and be back before the sun sets. Which begs the question...why in the world do opposites attract? It leads to a lot of aggravation!